Morning thoughts

God Im just so tired of the hypocricity of it all. For example, yesterday I was out shopping with some friends, and as it is customary when girls are trying on clothes, they all complained about their bodies and everything that needed to change. You know, "my thighs are too fat", "my stomach isnt toned enough" etc etc. I was the only one that didn't complain. Why? Because I know that even though my body isn't perfect, its getting better all the time, even if some days feel worse than others. Im not perfectly satisfied right now, but thats exactly why Im doing something about it. Its actually like a huge weights been lifted off my shoulders, not needing to feel guilty about eating a say a snickers bar, because I just dont do it.

Afterwards, when they'd all discarded things they thought they looked too fat in and gotten the stuff that made them look skinnier, we decided to take a break and get something to eat. I got a caesar salad while they mostly got pretty unhealthy stuff, fries, burgers and such. Then afterwards, I had to listen to them going on about how they shouldn't have had that meal blah blah, and I just felt so sick of it all.

Dont get me wrong, I love my friends and this isnt me critisizing them, its me critisizing society for the way its makes us behave. It gives us these confusing messages about how to act and how to be: of course, skinny is healthy and sexy,  a round or soft stomach is unnatural. But all the while, theres fast food commercials and such. And the possibly worst thing is the stupid attitude: when we want to treat ourselves or have a relaxing night at home, we go and buy chips and candy and chocolate. But how many times has that actually relaxed you or made you feel more content? Why can't we spoil ourselves with nutricious food? Because society has made us feel that healthy food is dull and doesnt taste half as good as its greasy and sugary counterparts, creating this terrible push and pull motion between healthy but boring and unhealthy but tasty and deliciously sinful.

We need to break this stupid cycle that wont make anybody happy (or thin)!

As a side note, Im trying to take a break from all the food stuff. Im on a liquid diet, you know, those bags that you mix with water and have five a day of? Its supposed to give you all the nutrients you need and a one-day portion contains just over 500 calories. So hopefully, a bit of weight will come off as well.

Im still missing Him like crazy and I think my mind is sort of twisting the whole idea of him, making me dream about doing things when Im with him that would be very bad. But I might still do them...